The ‘Motherhood Penalty’ Is Making Me Choose Between My Career & Having A Second Child

I can’t count on one hand the number of conversations I had with friends in my early 20s in which we discussed our gratitude for being alive during a time when women could finally have it all.

Heady from my time at university, I had stumbled out into the adult arena with an unshakable belief that I could carve out my career as a freelance journalist, take several quick breaks to nurture the babies that I’d always dreamed of having, and then fall straight back into employment to continue my rise to the top.

But, now in my thirties and starting to think about having a second child (my first now just over a year old), I have to face the harsh truth that having it all still isn’t possible for most women. Because, yes, women now have equal rights in the workplace (in theory), and so on paper, we can have children and a career all at once, but in reality, the motherhood penalty is one that many of us can’t outperform – no matter how hard we work. And recent research reflects this.‌

This year, the number of deaths in England and Wales could exceed the number of births, which has only happened once before, in 2020. The last time there were enough children born to stop the population from declining was in the early 1970s. Our total fertility rate, at 1.49 children per woman and ever-decreasing, is far below the 2.1 required to sustain population growth, despite the fact that research suggests women would like, on average, to have two or three children.

And the reason for all of this? Well, experts, research and many of my peers make the case that women are not having the number of children they would like because of the “motherhood penalty”, which makes them worse off and less secure in their jobs.

The study, carried out by the think tank Onward, found factors such as lack of financial support for new mothers and high childcare costs meant families could not afford more children. In short, as it stands, choosing to have a child feels as though it places a major ceiling on your career, whether you want it to or not.

I love my daughter and have always dreamed of having more than one child, but I’ve also spent the last 13 years building a career that I not only love, but also affords me a good lifestyle – one where I am not perpetually stressed by my finances or anxious about whether I’ll be able afford my next bill. On top of that, my work gives me a feeling of purpose and a deep sense of self-worth and keeps me feeling focused and in control – without it, I’d be lost. But when I force myself to reimagine a future where my sociable, fun-loving daughter is an only child, I feel lost at the thought, too.

Six months into my return from mat leave, though, I am still nowhere near where my earnings used to be. This places more pressure on my husband to support the household and has, at times, been the source of conflict between us.‌

Anya Meyerowitz

Anya Meyerowitz

Onward has now launched a new campaign with Mumsnet, which it hopes can ‘move the dial’. They’ve called on the Government to double the length of time that new mothers receive a higher rate of statutory maternity pay, as well as more access for fathers to paternity leave. It said evidence showed that becoming a mother was associated with earning less each month and saving less in later life, The Times reported. The think tank suggests that women want more children, but the ‘motherhood penalty’, which makes them worse off and less secure in their jobs, is putting them off. But is it too little, too late?